confessions on a shitty dancefloor

I feel completely ridiculous right now... entertaining thoughts of someone or something out of reach.

Sometimes the momentary hopes and feelings that inspired you when you were younger seem a immature when you are a full-fledged adult.

That being said, being 'fascinating' to someone can sometimes make you feel alive again, right?

these photos are inspiring me hardcore right now.

The lonely pony in Iceland - looking at him makes me feel the icy wind whipping my hair and chilling my cheeks - definitely requires layers upon layers of clothing. I supposed undressing would resemble unwrapping a present.

This gorgeous girl, courtesy of The Sartorialist (<3!!) makes me want to cut bangs again and go extra curry red. Maybe once I get my first full Anthro paycheck.

I love this photo - I can see how she caught his eye - her hair, the glasses, her lips and her personal style... plus an overcast Paris as a background. Wowza!!


Lastly, I love the optimism that is filtering through the balloons in the final photo. The time of day - when the suns warmth wraps you in it's beautiful amber arms and gives you a little squeeze that fills your heart - just before night blankets you in it's infinite stillness.

Getting ready for the final quarter.

admittedly...

Today, I am a bit brighter - a bit like my sunnier self. Optimism hit me at the bottom of my coffee cup and I let the possibilities ahead of me fill me with hope, rather than pessimism and the sense of drowning I felt last week.

I also decided to use the last of the veggies and make a mini-pot of veggie soup.
I am obsessed with soups. This season will be the season of soup.

I love the way the house smells, I love chopping the veggies, I love taking the soup out of the fridge and heating it up, the steam bringing the aroma to my nose and that when I finally taste it, it's like something my mom made - in a word, delicious.

The thrifting bug has hit me again - a wool blanket in Scottish plaid, Mickey waving from an old school sweater, and sheets so soft a Royal would approve. Now for those oxford wingtips I'm dreaming of...

September, or: How the days fly by...

Time has a way of speeding up and letting you know as it shoots by you.

My life and my mind have been in complete upheaval these last few weeks.

First, I felt on top of the world as my impending 29th birthday approached. I thought 'This is my year!' and 'I can accomplish everything and anything I desire!' - I felt powerful and in touch with my core and my passions and my strengths and my future. The day following my uber-low-key celebration with Matt and my bestie Ayana I had the rug pulled from under me... or rather, the huge bundle of colorful, lovely balloons which I was gripping with all my might, floating a la the Miss Dior Cherie ads, well, every single one popped and instantaneously I plummeted to earth, along with my optimism, confidence, and sense of self.

I am feeling myself emerging from the figurative wreckage and piecing myself back together - I am starting a new job a week from today, and I am excited and nervous and settling into the idea of monetary stability and consistency. I am sad that my part-time days are over for now and that I am going to be leaving my nearly decade long career in make-up - only in the full time aspect.

I have started filling in at a friend's thrift shop - I plan on doing so once a week for a while. It's fun and I like the aspect of looking like me - not the poster child of the cosmetics movement.

The nights are getting longer, it's starting to cool down (a little) and there are some small things that I am looking forward to:

the new Diana Gabaldon book
AZ state fair - a few concerts, demolition derby and food, food, food.
sweaters
new employee discount (I am sticking to an allowance!)

Now I just need to shake the remnants of this cold and get my ass to the gym!